Funniest sales pitch


What is the funniest sales pitch you've read? My current favorite is one I just read today. It was,"I'm selling these speakers because they are too good for me."
makersmark
Marco, absolutely right. For example, Ellen DeGeneres prefers "Snap-on Tools."

Not certain what her significant other thinks.
Yes, that type of advertising never gets old. Though for a second, I wasn't sure what they were selling. At first I thought it was some sort of acoustically inert thong that your girlfriend or wife could wear to reduce standing waves and that sort of thing (not that my wife's ass is that big mind you. Perhaps if I got several asses though…I’ll have to run it by her…). Though doubtless the thong would be made of some “proprietary” material, most likely cryo’d (insert frigid wife joke here), have blue LED’s and cost $999.99 so I guess I’m glad it’s not really for sale--because I would buy one. Then when I saw they were cables wrapped around her, I figured they would be made by “Dominatrix Cable Co.” or something along those lines.
Y'don't need no stinkin' blue LED's! Just tits and ass. You could sell pickled farts with T&A! Oh, and if I ever request my wife bend over that way, you can bet it ain't gonna be about reduction of standing waves. If you can get your wife to agree to having several asses around your listening room my hat's off to you my friend, although if I had several asses like that surrounding me in my listening room I think the music would be the last thing on my mind.

Marco
It was with great delight that I saw the advertisement featuring the thonged mono blocks.

I wasn't familiar with the manufacturer, however. Is Crack a British product?