I one is willing and able to spend five (six?) figures on an audio system, an in person audition is obviously desirable.
Really? Explain it to me. Because I have the distinct impression what is desirable is to find the best components. No dealer anywhere ever had the best of everything. It just don’t work that way. I think what you are looking for is one that will do the best job of hand holding emotional reinforcement and making you feel you got a good deal while putting 60k into his pocket, 40k into your living room. Because the way you are going that is exactly what will happen.
If that sounds harsh, well rest assured the best dealers are so good at it you really will feel you got a good deal, even as he drives away in the Ferrari you just paid for.