A Hypothetical Analogy Between Fake IDs and Audiology Tests


You guys remember fake IDs, right? You know, when we were kids - those bogus identification cards that often would work to get us into bars so we could drink, right? I mean, I never had one (ahem), but I’ve seen plenty of them in my day, many moons ago now.

Sometimes they’d have your picture, and sometimes they’d have a picture of someone who looked kinda like you -- those were the best - and funniest - because even they worked pretty well, haha, until they’d get confiscated eventually. My old roommate had one like that, and it was so funny because the dude in the picture kind of had a jaw that was slanted to the left in the photo, so every time he presented it to the bouncer he’d angle his jaw to the left and it was all I could do to not burst out laughing. Ahhhhh, good times.

So it got me thinking....I wonder if there could be an underground market for "fake" audiology test results that one could **hypothetically** use to **prove** their hearing acumen to a significant other who, hypothetically, let’s say discourages future hi-end audio purchases on the theory that one’s hearing is not good enough anyway to discern the differences in quality. "Look honey, perfect hearing! You were wrong all along in assuming I wouldn’t be able to discern audio sound quality differences! Now where is my credit card?"

I wonder....

How funny would it be to see a bunch of 40-, 50-, 60-, 70-, 80-something dudes (or dudettes) congregating at the audio shows and comparing their audiology reports, and in particular comparing how believable they looked?

Purely hypothetical, of course.
kren0006
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So the idea for this thread was actually kickstarted by a conversation I had with an older gentleman, who was working at one of the local dealers. This was before covid. 

We were talking about his home system, and how he had just gotten new speakers. But he said that before his wife let him get them, she made him get a hearing test to prove that he’d actually be able to appreciate the improvement for the big expense that the speakers represented. 

We had a good chuckle about that, and about how he was nervous going into the test because he knew it was his only shot at a system upgrade. He was really proud of his test results and how he still has really good hearing for his advanced age.
I’m probably dating myself here as for some older maybe wasn’t as much need for fake IDs and as tech got better the IDs got more sophisticated so younger folks maybe not as into it. But it was pretty prevalent for awhile haha
As nutty as this sounds, its actually a logical consequence of the way a lot of guys view audio. 

I'm not gonna name names but think about it. Think about all the guys who time and again come back to something just like this. They attack your hearing. Can you even hear high frequencies? They can't believe you heard what you heard and demand you prove it to them, and always with something pseudo-scientific like this. Never by adequately describing what you heard. Always has to be some so-called objective measure. 

This also fits in with the one who thinks every speaker needs to meet stringent standards only he is qualified to set, and even then the speakers must be equalized to your exact hearing EQ. Well what better way to do that than with the Audiology ID card!

Yeah I know its a joke. But look. There must be a dozen guys here who are thinking, "Man this is EXACTLY what we need!"

And that's no joke.
I have a wonder hear test apparatus. How much you pay me?
Seriously, the hearing tests stop at 8000 Hz. I have seen people who can't hear anything over 10,000 Hz make very reasonable audio evaluations. 
Don't know about those fake IDs, from Louisiana, if you could walk in, you got served.