1 million dollar speaker made by Kharma

And then I told myself, "oh boy, me thinkum you need to buy a million dollars worth of waders, just so you can wade thru the above post!!!" If you don't believe I thought that, call Kreskin and ask him, he'll tell you................................The whole universe is my speaker, but it's only reproducing direct current, at least until it stops expanding and starts to collapse in on itself. The area out there in space where the big bang occurred, is the "zero point" in the big woofer cone's excursion....and all the galaxies are really just huge weaves of kevlar in the cone. Black holes are the motor structure, and dark matter is the voice coil. What kind of music will this be playing (if we can listen "later"), after several universe "cycles" have expanded/contracted? WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? GOD HAS A PREFERENCE FOR THE COMPLEX MUSICAL CHAOS OF THE PURIST AUDIO BURN IN CD?.........I didn't think you would, it's more likely going to be George Jones, Grace Jones, "the ghost of tom jones", Barnaby Jones, Indiana Jones....or sumthin!!! How'm'I supposed to know that? Go ask Saturn99, or at least call Best Buy! Lord knows they need to hear from you on this!!! You could then ask them, "is your refrigerator running?"...and well, you know the rest.

I Just bought these speakers on the street in NYC, when some guy from Haiti, came buy and explained to me, he had picked up too many of these and didn't want to return them to the warehouse. He told me these speakers normally retail for 1 million dollars, but he'd give them away for 950,000 dollars. It seemed like too good a deal, but I still wanted to bargain with him. I got him down to 900,000 with delivery to my apartment, cuz these things weigh a ton, not including the boxes. So we get these things to my house and wire-em up to my Radio Shack amplifier, with my panasonic portable CD player. Well, let me tell you, the sound was just terrible. I figure 60 watts is more than enough to drive any speaker. I figured something was amiss. So I open them up with a crow-bar, to see whats inside the speakers (whoever made these, used a lot of glue to hold it together. Well, what did I see inside the speakers, but 5 illegal Mexican immigrants. No wonder these sounded like crap. I'm wondering, how these illegal Mexican immigrants still have there ears, from me blasting these speakers. These speakers are great for carrying illegal immigrants, but terrible for sound. It's my own fault for buying something like these on the street. The deal did seem to good to be true, but next time, i'll buy them from Best Buy.

Hi, my name is MC Hammer, I also bought a pair of these speakers from that Haitian guy, who was selling them on the street in NYC. They look really shiny, and stuff. They're great for getting down with the funk. I have my ladies over, turn on some George Clinton, and BAM we're in the mood. One time, the bass was so loud my cat spontaneously combusted. That's a good thing!!! Weaknesses: My honey left me, because I paid too much for them, and I couldn't spend no money on her. Now I gots to spend more time wit da ladies. But I must tell you, these speakers are the greatest! I feel like the LORD when I turn these babies up! My cousin, Mack D has some of them Koss speakers, and these babies are better than them. It don't matter how much you pay, because I gots my settlement money from the war, you know? If you like to get FUNKY, buy these babies! I only give them three stars, because my baby left me!!!

MC Hammer, your baby found me after she left you. It wasn't that you spent too much, it was that your speaker just wasn't big enough. I let her see mine (it IS the whole universe, afterall), and she went "oops, you did it again!" And I went, "awww yeahhh, baby, yees, yees.......Nooo! Noo!"....and then I drank that coffee the big scottish guy gave me! Yuuuck!"...........Anyhoo, you just have to have a really BIG speaker, and then let her see that it can move slowly if she wants it to.

I was browsing around the electronics department at the local Shop one day, when surprisingly I noticed that they were carrying a single pair of the Grand Enigmas for a very limited time. I carefully weighed my options. It was either the York bookshelf system for the bedroom or the Enigmas for the living room. Well, I splurged and went for the Enigmas. When then, all of the employees at the Shop dropped everything they were doing and combined their efforts just to carry the speakers 20 feet to the check-out counter. I knew that I was purchasing some hefty speakers! No more York sound for me! After maxing out all of my credit cards, I watched one brave Shop employee try and lift the speakers and carry them out to my car. We both chuckled as his spine cracked in two and his arms permanently dislocated. He said hunched over and with a smile, "Ooh! I think we're going to need a little help with these." After a local helicopter pilot was gracious enough to lift them onto the front lawn of my apartment, I was anxious to test these babies out in the comfort of my own living room. Getting these mothers upstairs was quite a chore. Now I know how all of those Egyptians who built the pyramids must have felt. I hooked the Enigmas to my Technics SA-AX7 receiver with 100 watts of power x 5 and threw in a copy of Bjork's latest album to test the musical performance. But before I could hit play on the CD player, the speakers fell right through the floor and landed on my neighbor downstairs. She died and now her family is suing me for 1 million dollars. I thought maybe, i could give them these speakers instead. They refused. I did hear these speakers, after they landed ontop of my downstairs neighbor. When i pressed Play on the CD Player, Bjork's vocals soared through the entire neighborhood and the subtleties in the instrumental accompaniments were finally revealed. People from blocks away thought that Bjork was giving a concert in my apartment and hundreds of people flocked over to try and get a glimpse of her. Saving Private Ryan was next on the list. The structural integrity of the building began to disintegrate and so I had to turn the volume down slightly. Every gunshot, cannon blast, and explosion was very well detailed and present. It could be just me, but I think that my dead neighbor's body helped to dampen excess vibration in the cabinets, thus adding to the sound quality of the speakers. So, I think I'll just leave him under there for a while. This speaker ensemble is terrific! Thank you, Shop! But because of its enormous price tag, and difficulty in finding matching surrounds and center channel, I'm giving the Enigmas four stars instead of five.