Your not a serious audiophile I'd you have??????

Funny. Let me try too.
You are not a serious audiophile if you don't keep your cartridge at a constantly monitored precise temperature.
You are not an audiophile at all if you can't hear the difference when you machine clean the same record with different fluids.
You are definitely an audiophile if you still prefer reel to reel deck to anything else.
You are a super audiophile if you always align the cartridge by ear.

Yeah right, your system must be worth more than your wife for you to be considered an audiophile.

It's the other way around - by playing loud the speakers are telling the wife to shut up.