why do so many discussions turn contentious?


just venting....why do so many discussion posts need to turn  contenious and nasty?  do you guys find that constructive and/or enjoyable?  I have no clue who or how this forum is moderated, but I sure would love to see a stop to that...it makes me feel like this hobby is dominated by total jerks.

Can't we play nice, share OPINIONS and OBSERVATIONS, realizing that  they often are subjective and biased.  
"if you dont have anything nice to say, say nothing"?  If you wish to disagree, do it in a constructive and mature fashion, no need for "argument ad hominem"...

with all the chaff, one must waste so much time finding the wheat, figuratively speaking.  

I doubt my writing this will change anything, but, like most social media, people writing to others without facing them does not bring out the best, sadly......



128x128jw944ts

Showing 1 response by whipsaw

Needless to say, the phenomenon is hardly confined to this forum. Fundamentally, most users of internet forums behave very differently than they would in person. By way of analogy, I find this brief Louis CK bit to be both on point, and very funny:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8062QEFk5g

Nothing wrong with disagreements, of course, but how people disagree can make an enormous difference in how conversations unfold, and culminate.

Showing restraint and being polite can be a challenge for many. I have struggled myself at times to dial back aggression, be more patient, and avoid coming off as arrogant. The simplest tool that I have found is to stop and think about whether I would say whatever I am about to post to the face of the person to whom I am responding. If the answer isn't an easy "yes", I'm inclined to edit, and dial back the response.