What do you say to your audiophile friends who say you just listen to your equipment more

It's all in service to the music.
A handheld transistor radio (kids, look it up) can sound like a symphony if it's all you've got.
However, if you're a gear-head just to be a gear-head, who cares....own it and let the devil take the hindquarter (as my grandmother used to tell me)