Viridian, my apologies, I was simply joking around, as I believe you were in your post. My bad. My sense of humor borders on the caustic at times (much to my detriment) so please bear with me!
The local solution I have found is a record shop that has one of the thousand dollar flatteners, and for a fee, they will flatten your records.... Which brings me to my next rant: I swear to god, out of the last 40 'audiophile' records I have purchased, a dozen have been warped or 'dished', and at 40 bucks a pop, that is simply unacceptable! I bought a copy of ansermet royal ballet ($80)!!! got it home, dished like a cereal bowl!! The store took it back, ordered me another, and guess what? It is dished as well!!!! The oficial story is : 'it must have been a bad batch' at eighty bucks a pop, I expect at least a modicum of quality control. I think vinyl in general is frustrating enough to deal with without having to take crap from manufacturers!!! ARRRRGH! okay, time for a xanax.