distance from the listening spot to the right and left speakers is identical, same degree of toe in for left and right speakers, speakers are level and the same height?
This! ^^
Foolproof method in oddball rooms, what I have done before including at CES so I know it works:
Pull a string to establish a straight line between the two speakers. Use a framing square to go straight off mid-line to your listening chair. This establishes your perfectly equidistant and symmetrical speaker/listener triangle. Proceed to tweak to find the right amount of toe in. This is Step One.
Step Two, listen and look. Asymmetrical room reflections will pull and smear imaging. How and how much, and what sounds it affects, all depends on the various room surfaces. So look around. Follow lines of radiation patterns
Yes it will sound a lot better if this is resolved. Because right now you're noticing the obvious effects. If you are able to correct them however then you will notice a lot of less obvious effects are also gone.
You mention the wife factor. There's some guys, and I use the term guys loosely in this case, who were triggered when I said we do things to please women. Apparently we are all such rugged individualists we never turn our lives inside out to please the dames. Or if we do we're too ruggedly stoic to talk about it. So probably you misspoke. But if you do all this alignment stuff and still want better imaging without upsetting you know who too much Synergistic Research makes these little wonders called HFT which she who doesn't factor in will probably not even notice if you put them on your speakers.
Seriously. They totally work.