The best audiophile "gag" gift for X-Mas


My dear friend and fellow audiophile bought for me the remarkable, " Intelligent Chip CD Upgrade Device", from Machina Dynamica for my X-Mas present. Well, we all gathered around the sweet spot in front of the old high-end system, put in the demo CD in the transport, put the, " Intelligent Chip" on top of the transport for the recommended 2 to 3 seconds, and absolutely NOTHING happened regarding the sonics in any way! But, boy did we all crack up and had the best laugh on X-Mas day. Now, we had 9 more upgrades left in the, "Intelligent Chip", so if first you don't succeed try, try again. We did and again NOTHING happened except more howls of laughter and good cheer. Well, we decided that the, "Intelligent Chip", was adding as much improvement to the sonics of the system as (Un)Intelligent Design Theory is adding to the scientific explanation of the development/diversity of life on our planet. Both, are just a bunch of .... you fill in the blank, but for the $16.00 the dumb chip cost it was the best gag gift I have ever recieved on X-Mas.
teajay

Showing 3 responses by cdc

aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! can't we stop talking about Geoff and his bu!!$$hit products. I guess not. Well here you go then:
You gotta believe in something

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing."

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The above could just as easily be re-phrased - for example ...

"I refuse to prove that my cables will make your system sound better", says the snake oil vendor, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, you will hear nothing."

The tenets of faith are an absolute requirement for many of the claims that are made for many (probably most) of the "esoteric" hi-fi additions that you will find everywhere on the web. There is no real information, technical, scientific or otherwise, and the only terms you will hear will be of a subjective nature - for example "solid, sparkling, sweet, musical" will be contrasted with "muffled, veiled, grainy, harsh" - the very selection of the words is designed to sway you to their position, preferably subconsciously.

The marketing is often very subtle, extremely persuasive, and there is no confusing techno-talk in there to confuse the non technical reader. While it may seem like Nirvana, the claims are nearly all completely false.

Faith (in the religious sense) is based on the premise that faith is God's proof that God's existence is truth and does not rely on facts. Indeed, if facts were available, then faith is not required - so in a sense, faith can be seen to be based on an absence of evidence - a fiction.

Believers may also qualify faith as either representing truth or they will represent it as being above and beyond our understanding. Truth becomes a consequence of faith which is the believer's recognition of the absence of evidence. Truth is therefore defined according to a circular perception.

I am not about to dispute the religious beliefs of anyone - these are sacrosanct, and belong to the individual alone. When the same arguments are used for audio, this is a different matter. Audio (unlike religious beliefs) is based on science. Without the efforts of scientific work and studies over many years by a great many people, we would not have audio as we know it. Now, we have charlatans and thieves claiming that science is ruining audio, and that we have to get back to the basics to enable real enjoyment.

You need, nay! must have! the latest shiny rock on top of your CD player, lest the sound be harsh, grainy, and lacking bass authority, and without the latest cables at only US$200 per foot, you are missing out on half of the music. But ... you must believe, for the magic will surely be dissipated instantly should you attempt even the most rudimentary scientific test, or even request any technical information.
Now here is a fun gag gift:
Control-Freak

Just keep this thing away from Marco. Who even knows what he could do with it! Im thinking natural disaster of epic proportion.
Alright Unclejeff, and it's cheap than the Intelligent chip Gag Gift to boot.

Johnmcelfresh and Albertporter LOL, stereo IS my religion.
My link to the belief thing was just an interesting collolary that believing can make something really exist - or something like that. BTY, it wasn't a jab at cables making a sonic difference. They do IMHO.