I typically follow the old Transparent Audio advice, unless buying used, then it's whatever comes up first...Transparents' preferred order to upgrade was IC from source to pre first, then speaker cables, and lastly IC from amp to pre...
I think that the terms of in home trial should be set before shipping...I have found that shipping costs are often negotiable...certainly many direct sale manufacturers and online stores offer free shipping both ways and no restock fee...
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