I think this question is much dependent on the kind of music you like. Over my entire life I have always leaned towards heavy music, starting with rock, hard rock, prog metal and now electronic. So in my case I definitely lean real, the only way to put the correct amount of weight into this kind of music. However I also have a sizable classical collection and plenty of softer acoustic style music and in that regard, a little less real and little more surreal is acceptable. However I have gotten to a point with my house of stereo where I don't really pay anymore attention to all the specific sound effects that it produces but rather I just flow into the music without over thinking it anymore. So much more relaxing...
Real or Surreal. Do you throw accuracy out the window for "better" sound?
I visited a friend recently who has an estimated $150,000 system. At first listen it sounded wonderful, airy, hyper detailed, with an excellent well delineated image, an audiophile's dream. Then we put on a jazz quartet album I am extremely familiar with, an excellent recording from the analog days. There was something wrong. On closing my eyes it stood out immediately. The cymbals were way out in front of everything. The drummer would have needed at least 10 foot arms to get to them. I had him put on a female vocalist I know and sure enough there was sibilance with her voice, same with violins. These are all signs that the systems frequency response is sloped upwards as the frequency rises resulting in more air and detail. This is a system that sounds right at low volumes except my friend listens with gusto. This is like someone who watches TV with the color controls all the way up.
I have always tried to recreate the live performance. Admittedly, this might not result in the most attractive sound. Most systems are seriously compromised in terms of bass power and output. Maybe this is a way of compensating.
There is no right or wrong. This is purely a matter of preference accuracy be damn. What would you rather, real or surreal?