Dill's post points in the right direction, IMHO. Electronics have a lot to do with sound but doing the 'disappearing act' is not so much matching speakers and electronics as proper placement of speakers AND your listening position. Good speakers (not necessarily great) are usually adequate for achieving a disappearing act if your set up issues are addressed. If these issues are not addressed you can spend all your want on new electronics and achieve nothing more than changing the tonal balance.
Now once you have achieved good fundamental stereo imaging using a good set up you might want to improve the tonal balance, imaging depth/width, etc, all of which will now possible.
Assuming that you have not really explored set up and want to, perhaps you could post a description of your room (its dimensions and furnishings, walls & windows) and how you presently have your system set up as well as restrictions which will impede any changes (like your wife :-). Quite a few folks here have extensive knowledge on this matter and should be able to help you. For example, you complain of 'boomy' speakers and think it might be connected to the amp you are using, and it could be, BUT it is more likely something as simple as where you have placed your listening chair (possibly in a bass node) or your speakers (due to boundry reinforcement)
Now once you have achieved good fundamental stereo imaging using a good set up you might want to improve the tonal balance, imaging depth/width, etc, all of which will now possible.
Assuming that you have not really explored set up and want to, perhaps you could post a description of your room (its dimensions and furnishings, walls & windows) and how you presently have your system set up as well as restrictions which will impede any changes (like your wife :-). Quite a few folks here have extensive knowledge on this matter and should be able to help you. For example, you complain of 'boomy' speakers and think it might be connected to the amp you are using, and it could be, BUT it is more likely something as simple as where you have placed your listening chair (possibly in a bass node) or your speakers (due to boundry reinforcement)