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  3. 1307929502

My love of music is killing me.

I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
dean_fuller

Showing 1 response by swampwalker

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swampwalker
5,138 posts
 
Dean-
Your post has got a 52 year old, normally stoic man, crying at his computer this afternoon.
Ditto for this 59'er. For your pain and also for the horror and fear that it unleashes in all of us w children. I, too, urge you to get some help in trying to find a way to get past this. Not get over it, I know you never will. But time does help. I have a close friend who lost a 20 y.o. son, maybe 15 years ago. You can make it to the other side of your grief; if it takes a professional guide then, so be it. In the mean time, your Audiogon friends (even friends you haven't met yet, me included) wish you all the best.

Dan_ed- I had no idea. My deepest sympathies to you and the rest of Michael's family.

My son is getting a major hug when he gets home tonight.
Peace
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