My love of music is killing me.


I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
dean_fuller

Showing 1 response by rja

Dean,
I'm very sorry for your loss. My personal feeling is in agreement with many others here, seek help from others. Do not go through this alone! I'm sure there are others who have gone through a similar situation and would be more than happy to help.

Perhaps a time will come when the music will remind you of happy memories and time shared with your son rather than sadness. I'm hoping that will happen for you.