I can relate to what you're going through. I lost my mom to cancer and my big brother to a serial killer in the same year. Music was just too painful because it tends to touch an emotional side of you like nothing else can. It was hard to listen to music that reminded me of them. With time the pain passes to a certain extent, and now I enjoy listening to music I know they loved and feel great comfort knowing they are beside me enjoying it right along with me.
My love of music is killing me.
I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.
Hug your kids....Pease.
Hug your kids....Pease.