How to listen to the good stuff?

How is one able to hear some of the 100's of great systems described in review after review?

There's been six or seven high-end dealers in the local area and I've been to a few out of state, and among all the auditions I've listened to at these places with all sorts of different speakers and electronics, from systems costing hundreds of dollars to systems costing many tens of thousands of dollars, only one system ever sounded 'great', and only one or two I would consider barely 'good'. The vast majority have sounded quite poor to awful.

The funny thing is, even with the awful sounding systems, the dealers will gush about how great it sounds, how it sounds so live, and use all the usual audiophile superlatives and descriptions to describe what I'm supposed to be hearing. Yet it sounds nothing like that to me at all -- poor sound, little emotional connection with the music, no PRAT, nothing like live music, and almost always boring. It doesn't come anything close to what I hear at home, or anything like the descriptions in so many reviews. Yeah, I know it's their job to talk about everything in glowing terms, but that is the point I'm trying to make. If all of this stuff sounds like crap at the dealers, how do I find speakers I might like better than the ones I have? How do I hear a great SET amp or an exotic horn system?

I want to hear some more of these setups that are described as being able to image a full size orchestra right in your living room and you can pick out each individual player, etc., etc.

The descriptions I've read of all the different audio shows over the years make it sound even worse than auditioning at a dealer. Crowded rooms with little chance to sit in the sweet spot. Systems setup the day before in a crappy hotel room. Poor selection of music. etc. And I don't know anybody with a high-end system, let alone the high-high-end stuff, and the audio 'club' (society?) is pretty much dead.

Do you guys think most of the dealer setups you've heard sound good? How do you guys listen to some of the more exotic stuff? Pretty much going to shows, or do you live in L.A. or N.Y.?

(Some of the speakers heard at dealers: Magnapan 1.7, Sonus Faber, various B&Ws, Wilson X-1 and Sasha ?, Joseph Audio Pearl, Linn, Vienna Acoustics, Totem, various Martin Logans, Thiel, ...)