How to fix my detailed, accurate but BRIGHT system

My first response would be to address the room issues as others have mentioned. But you clearly state that since this is a living space your options there are limited. By far the easiest thing to do would be to experiment with different interconnects, although you don't mention what you're using currently so it's tough to make any recommendations at this point. But something like an Acoustic Zen Matrix Reference might do the trick, and it shouldn't cost you much more than shipping to give them a try. Best of luck.

"My interconnects are nothing special, some Pheonix gold and Monster. I just can't see cables fixing this big of a problem, mabe I'm wrong."

You may be right, but I think you're selling this aspect of a system way short. They're also some of the easiest and cheapest ways to contour sound to our liking. I'd expect you could find some used AZ Matrix Ref. or Cardas Golden Cross interconnects fairly cheaply and if those don't make a marked positive difference you know you'll need to go in a different direction. Quite frankly it seems like you've neglected this important part of your system -- it's kind of like putting the wrong tires on a sports car (and I have no idea what you're using for power cords either, but that's a whole other issue). Suffice it to say I think you'd do well to at least experiment in this area before sinking thousands of dollars in other components if your results/options are limited in terms of room treatment. Best of luck.