I used to brush the stylus before each side played but now I think that is excessive, so I check it with a jewelers loupe. I also rotate between the brush and sometimes use Blue Tack instead of the brush.
Special purpose gel for cleaning the stylus are not expensive, like this Audio Technica Gel. There are a number of different brands. I would stick (😊) to something made for the purpose, lest you damage it.
Wow. Assuming he is not playing albums 8 hours a day, there is something very wrong. I have never replaced a stylist and only had two cartridges in the last twenty years. I probably played one album a day when home… so about 200 hours a year?
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