It's not just about the equipment, just listen to music and enjoy it. I enjoy music whether it's on $30 airpods off my phone or on my system or on a friends $100,000 system. What you mentioned is just noise. Focus on the music, your ears will tell you everything you need to know. Just an opinion, not a debate, in fact I agree with you. Sure it can help if you can audition equipment, but only so much. I've also had really crappy demos, dealers that don't deal, given bad advice, one dealer even wanted me to pay for his advice before he would even talk to me much less listen to what equipment he had!, But I learned if you focus on the music, trust your ears, you can ignore the other stuff.
Hi-end audio is a big zero
This is no knock on dealers, It's just how hi-end audio is.
I go listen to some speakers. He has them set up like crap - jammed between 3 other pair. Running on electronics I would never choose so I have to try and compensate for what I imagine they are contributing to the sound. Then after 30 minutes, I am expected to shell out the $4,500.00.
I narrowed it down to two transports from an online retailer. And who knows if those 2 are even a good choice? Told point blank, I am not allowed to buy both and return the one I don''t want. Just pick one and buy it. Shell out $1,000-$3,500 based on what?
One e-tailer will allow purchase 3 speakers totally $12K and return the two I don't want. Sorry, i have a conscience and can't do it to him.
Read all you want. Talk all you want. Listen at dealers all you want. But unless you listen in your own room, it's all meaningless. I'm talking even just 5 to 30 minutes can be all it takes. But that is basically impossible.
Sure you can buy and sell on A-gon or Ebay if you find what you want have the time to go through the process.
If the prices weren't so high or I did not care about sound quality maybe it would not matter.