Has it all been worth it?

I am really sorry to hear about your journey. Mine has been similar in length and certainly intensity. However, I am retired and 73. My journey has been exactly the opposite. It represents the best investments I have ever made and has brought me endless joy along the way.

I traveled extensively throughout my career... first as a geologist when I would frequently spend 8 to 10 hours a day driving... so I had a top of the line headphone system for days (the Sony Walkman Brick with Dolby C), an amazing portable system for my motel room (three weeks in the field, one week home), and an evolving main system and record collection at home.

Later as an executive I traveled extensively globally and used my evolving portable headphone system. While further developing my home system.

Before retirement I did a big upgrade in case I could not afford another after... really great. Fortunately, after retirement I was able to do a much larger upgrade, achieving the sound I never thought possible. One key was in my fifties and sixties was season tickets to the symphony seventh row center that helped me calibrate my ears to real natural sound.

Now in retirement my system gets two or more hours of use and is one of my most prized and fulfilling time each day. The culmination of over fifty years of study and investment. This pursuit has been sooo rewarding. I am very fortunate.

Music lover here. No regrets.  Wish I could do even more. 

No regrets.

I am a lover of music, though not a musician.

The better the quality of the sound the closer I am to the performance.

In rural VT I rarely get the chance to listen go to the concert or recital hall, and, indeed, the behavior of audiences in NYC concert halls increasingly detracted from the experience.  People on their phone during the performance, and ALWAYS applauding before the piece finishes.  A particular way to piss me off.  I wish people would abide by the rule that when the conductor is facing the orchestra you are silent.  You applaud when he/she turns round to face the audience.  The decay of that last note is a meaningful part of the experience, and something delicious to be enjoyed.

It has been worth it for me.  Although early in my audiophile journey I did a lot of upgrading, about 40 years ago I assembled a core system that has proven satisfying.  I've had to upgrade parts of it, and particularly I have had to upgrade the digital side of my system, but now even that is quite satisfactory.

I can simply listen and enjoy the music without having to be critical about this or that detail.  I really believe that for my system the biggest shortcomings are in the recordings themselves--I have found few convincingly realistic recordings, but the difference between them and the rest have convinced me that one's reproducing gear can only go so far--you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear.

But if the acoustics of your room are not good, you either need to address that or focus on headphone listening, which I can enjoy while realizing it misses some of the elements that loudspeakers provide.