Get out your thinkin' caps....

Ok, this may not fit here, but what the hey?

The fellow who cut my hair yesterday is making it a habit of asking each customer for the most creative ideas for exacting retribution on Bin Laden. So far, it would be a many day event, during which (of course) the meal plan would consist solely of pork products. First, you strap him down on an operating table and run a full blood transfusion with a couple of the Hasidim. Then there were a bunch of intermediate steps that didn't catch my attention enough to stick in the old noggin, but which, by necessity and in anticipation of the final coup de grace, must include a fairly aggressive set of hormone treatments in said pork products. Finally, you return dear old Osama to the operating table and deck him out with the absolute best sex change operation money can buy. And with that, he gets to return to Afghanistan a "free" woman.

The question? Let's fill out the intermediate steps. Now, we don't want anything horrific or gorey -- no stringing up by entrails or the like -- be creative and subtle(ish). Yes, we eventually want to hijack the women of Afghanistan and send them all to college, but I think we should let Osam(ette) have a chance to explore her new sexuality at home for a bit before we do that. Have at.

Finally, in the name of pursuing our other common interest, don't bother with those little "Magic Coasters" that claim to be perfect for speakers while allowing you to slide them around to your hearts content. Tried'em on a whim and, while they slid like mad, they absolutely tore the bottom end out of my Thiels. What more, it was a genuine ordeal pealing those little stick bits off in the aftermath. Alas.