Etiquette for a listening session?


'Sup?

Every now and then when my friends have nothing better to do, they'll acquiesce to my standing invite to come over to listen to some tunes on the main system downstairs. Over the years I've learned to choose my invites wisely, based on whether or not the invitee seems to evince any leaning towards or sympathy for audiophilia.

A few times I've been incredibly lucky and chanced upon a friend who doubles as an audiophile and we while away a happy evening and night spinning cd's and lp's and talking about the tracks and artists - and the drinks we have. We do talk, but between tracks or artists, not during. But a few times I've had people over, usually as part of a small group, who insist on talking over the track, much in the same way I constantly annoy my wife by talking during a movie.

The other weekend I invited over a couple, the husband with whom I play in a band; the wife whom I've never met. And while my wife and I and they nursed drinks and listened to tunes, his wife insisted on talking about whatever, bringing up pictures on her phone, and evincing every sign that she had never seriously considered the idea of a listening session to be something worthwhile.

Okay, I get it. It's not for everyone; analogous to if a friend who was into home theater had just gotten a new, hi-end projector had invited me over to watch a movie. Yes, I would have appreciated the clarity, etc. But it's still just a movie, no matter how much resolution there may be on a screen (actually, if there were indeed such a friend, I'd try to get into the video aspect as much as I'd like her or him to enjoy the audio, if only out of respect).

But it's also happened before, like with another (former) band member, another guitarist, who kept talking through the tracks while the rest of us tried (or pretended to try - I can only speak for myself) to listen.

So what's proper etiquette? Do I play the good host and let come what may? Do I lay down ground rules? I know that most people don't actively listen to music, nor appreciate the nuances of a good system, and usually don't care too much, either -- gearheads are gearheads, no matter the passion, and are appreciated only by other gearheads. Just as I remember, in retrospect, a few audiophiles when I was younger who obviously had good systems, but back then I neither knew nor cared about stuff like that, and so was much the same kind of person I'm complaining about now.

But how would you address that kind of behavior or reaction during a listening session?


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Although we have had the occasional person who appreciates the brief demo experience a great deal.
Key word "brief"
I am fortunate to have friends who are also audiophiles and we regularly visit each others premises for listening sessions ie jamming. Wifes and girlfriends are always welcome but are not usually receptive to extended sessions. It is understood there will always be an area set aside for conversation and you may come and go as you wish. The music continues regardless. We compare our systems and discuss likes/dislikes, recommend tweaks etc. Kicking back with eye closed and really listening is a fantastic experience for us all and all of our various systems are really awesome but also fine tuned to our specific tastes. There is nothing like us jamming out with eyes closed and to realize that each one of us is "feeling" it  when you happen to open your eyes and see the others with eyes closed, hands playing air guitar or whatever, feet tapping, expressions changing and really getting into the music. Thats when we really bond.
I agree with smittys.....that is pretty much the way it is, with the added factor of time. It may be that the invite is an audio hobby enthusiast, but, at that particular time, does not feel like listening critically. Imposing rules may drive him away. Maybe he just feels like, the time of sharing, venting, whatever, is more important, or appropriate.

The title of this post says it all. Normal people don’t refer to listening to music (or, more accurately, merely hearing it) as a "session", a distinct, dedicated endeavor. Music is just "on" while other, more important, things are done. Like talking about the Kardashians.
I have a separate area in our finished basement ,it's out of the way and works out well 
kids are older 23 & up - no interest in dads music ! My wife has joined me for 10- 15minutes tops . 
Usually just me & Dixie ( my dog ). She's a very good listener  & not very chatty 
 . When I have some "audiophile " friends over it tends to get too analytical for my liking.  They seem to have a need to criticize some aspect ... Synergy between amp & preamp, or are the speakers in "phase" ??  , the Grado cartridge is ok why don't you get "xyz" 
cartidge.    Etc.... 
Guess what ?   Yup ... Just me and Dixie !  Oh Sometimes we let Leo 
hang out he's a pretty cool cat.(feline)