Balanced or fully SS pre with tone controls

If you must have tone controls, you limit yourself quite a bit in terms of selection. McIntosh seems like the most likely choice. If your sources are digital, maybe a digital EQ like the Behringer deq2496 would be a better solution. The cost is low and it leaves you with options like using a stand alone dac to improve sound quality while the signal is still digital. Then you can just choose any preamp you like.

I do have one. Ultimately I prefer to listen without the EQ, but the reality is a lot of music I like is not recorded well I use the EQ to fix recordings that I would otherwise not be able to play on my revealing system.

Its not that expensive, but it has more features than you can possibly imagine. I know several posters on AG who has the same EQ, and have nothing but good things to say about it. If you're interested in one, downloading the manual would be a good place to start.

I should also note that when you first look at the manual or use it for the first time, it can be overwhelming. It looks complicated but it really isn't that bad. You control the signal path through the EQ using the menu system. As you make your way through, you pickup whatever functions you need, and leave the ones you don't. Also, if you have analog sources, you can get an analog EQ for them, and run it through the tape loop. Using the tape loop allows you to take the EQ completely out of the system when you don't want to use it.

If you live near a Guitar Center, you can get one there. They have a really good return policy if it doesn't work out.