At the top of the line is it really all that different?

I'm writing about my experience with the top of the line bespoke gear. Not the insane one-of a kind that I'll never own but the really good stuff that say $50K each will buy.

I have listened to my personal favorite ARC vs. D'Agistino, vs. Bryston vs. Pass vs. the top Macs (no love lost there).  Wilson vs. Sonus, vs. Magico vs. Bryston T-10  vs. Maggies (!) vs. Perlisten. 

So many cables that I can't recall the names. 

I can tell a difference between the voicing of the products at my dealer but the difference is so subtle that in my home they are "nearly" identical. ( I know, I know but I said "nearly") 

I read reviews with all the silly superlatives that make the reviewed item sound heavenly and the "other guys" sound like the AM radio in my '67 Mustang.

I have had my ears checked and my audio sensitivity is "age appropriate" I'm 62.

I have 2 listening rooms- one is a dedicated properly treated room and one is a barn sized great room with anterooms on 3 sides. In my dedicated room I'm all alone with my music which can be really lovely but not often visited vs. the great room with my dogs, kids, and wife. I don't do critical listening there but I love full beautiful sound when the ones I love most are near. 

So, I would really appreciate thoughtful guidance to my quandary- is top end gear crowding at the top of the pyramid with very little difference? Are the glowing reviews colored or even deceptively presented?   Or maybe I'm growing weary of very little cost/benefit improvements as I climb the audio ladder .....please advise.