Area 51 Cables and Interconnects

I was perusing the "hot sheets" this morning, at the grocery store, and picked up on an article by the Enquirer's audio writer, Dr. Okun. He reports that Area 51, Inc. is about to release cables that transfer an audio signal to another dimension at one end and return it to the associated equipment at the other, "without ever moving through or being effected by the universe as we know it". Obviously, they are highly directional and great care must be taken with terminations "so that the inter-dimensional stuff" does not leak out into our time-space. Dr. Okun characterises the sound of these cables as "otherworldly" and believes they will retail in the $150,000 range for 1 meter.
In related news, Doctors at NASA have revealed that Dan D'Agostino is not an alien as previously thought, but in fact a "monster of the Id".