Some months ago, JCarr, the creator of Lyra cartridges, for those who don't know, wrote a nice piece here wherein he suggested that when re-tipping a cartridge it is best to replace like with like, when it comes to the choice of cantilever material. The rationale for that advice is that the suspension was designed for the mass and rigidity of the original cantilever. You may want to search for his post here to read his actual words on the subject. By that reasoning, replace alu with alu. Stylus shape can be altered, I think he would say.
As to the question of whether SS will install a ruby cantilever with OCL stylus, the answer is yes. They did that for my Grace Ruby. (SS also offer a complete new stylus assembly for the Ruby, including its ruby cantilever and OCL stylus, but I had them replace only the cantilever and stylus on mine.)