3 way vs. 2 way

My bias is that less is more in many ways. But in your room and listening distance, a two-way seems like the way you must go; I think you would have a difficult time getting three drivers to integrate with a coherent sound at that distance. What price range are you looking at? I do love the Totems when I have heard them at shows, but I'm under the impression they need quite a bit of power and preferably solid state (I'm not a Totem expert). You might also want to consider the Merlin TSMs, they would work well in you environment, or two-way Harbeths, Spendors, ProAcs, are also good choices. I don't think you would be able to take advantage of large three-way bass in you room. My 2cents.

I prefer a two way speaker...the fewer crossovers, the better. Keep it simple...more is not always better.

I built both 2 ways and 3 ways speakers before.

2 ways are far easier to build, easier to get it to sound "right" ... but then, don't expect the bass will go too deep. (well, I will never use a 10" woofer in a 2 ways)

3 ways are just the opposite.

In your case, I'll go for higher line 2 ways Totems or B+Ws instead of the lower line multi-way models.

High quality speaker stand is essential for bookshelves.

3 way is necessary for elevated sound levels

Ever heard a pair Zu speakers? Technically it is a single driver with a tweeter simply to increase efficiency, so does that makes it a 1.25 way speaker? At any rate they can crank!
I agree that if you have a friend in the business take advantage and home audition anything you think about before you purchase.

Will no one say that they prefer three-ways to two-ways in a "social" context? What is this website coming to?