What is it I'm failing to grasp?

It’s just different for everyone. That’s what makes this such a cool hobby. What I find amazing is that no one on this forum has the exact same setup for listening to music. Also, no one has the exact same taste in music. I think some people fail to realize how individualist this hobby actually is. I think this what also leads to the unnecessary arguments. Our goals and expectations based on our individual experiences all lead us to finding a system that works just for us alone. To me that is fantastic. 

I suppose that we can try and believe that.

… But the arrival of the printing press brought the written word to many, the same way that later Edison’s phonograph brought sound.

(So I am finding it hard to believe that it is tailored for the individual.)

One can argue that the data rate (or bit error rate) is lower with ASCII characters, than with sound, but it is tending towards intellectual masterbation to think that the majority of systems at the playback end… is having a more profound effect than what happens on the front (recording) end.

All of our equipment may be different, but it all likely sounding more similar than dissimilar.

as this thread is now shifting towards a discussion of live musical performances in its many forms, and the sonic issues they can have, it is worth mentioning that this is why, to me, the bbc's substantial research and development in the 60s and 70s into acoustics and monitoring and recording of first classical (then pop) performances - think london philharmonic leading to the beatles - is seminal in its field

that research led to iconic speakers such as the spendor bc1, rogers ls3/5a, and their descendants today, by spendor, harbeth, stirling, graham and so on

Trying to explain to someone else what one of your senses; sounds, smells, tastes, feels like, is very difficult. That is one reason most strange foods all are explained as "tastes like chicken". Most people have tasted chicken so when you say that you expect others to understand, but does their chicken taste experience really match your taste experience, I do not know? Following this logic when someone tries to explain how their system sounds, "like live music" in my mind is the same as "tastes like chicken". No one wants to admit, if it is true, that their system is assembled so badly or their room's acoustic is so horrible that they can only listen at low listening levels for 20 minutes max, so "my system sounds so good that I can listen for hours on end and never become fatigued, and it sounds like live music" is just trying to convey that they like the way their system sounds in their room.

I for one do not go to concerts much anymore, forgetting Covid, because I find rock concerts in large sheds or concert halls a truly fatiguing experience. I enjoy listening to the same band's albums, studio or live, much more in my home. Does it sound like that live experience, I sure as heck hope not. Does it sound fantastic, yes indeed it does and in my opinion it sounds live :-) and I could listen for hours on end.

I think it has to do more with the type of music you are comparing between reproduced and live.

For full energy opera, or symphony or rock/pop/techno music I agree that I can only take so much even if my system is very close to the live experiences I’ve had. And I’ve done all night clubbing events so quite long.

But when it comes to small jazz groups or small group classical chamber music, my system sounds exceedingly like the real events I’ve been to and I can listen effortlessly for hours and hours

Tin eared at mixing boards, lousy pro audio equipment, excessive volume, poor acoustics at concert venue and  excessive crowd noise all detract from live experience. The masses don't attend live music for the sound quality, spectacle and fan worship are the calling cards for the large venue concerts.

Its really quite amazing I've actually experienced a number of good sounding rock concerts, there are a limited number of bands and sound guys that do care. Also, rather interesting these rare good sounding concerts were mostly from 1970's.

Small venue jazz and classical  have been far more consistently uniform in having at least decent sound quality in my experience. Genres like folk and bluegrass have been generally better than rock, not as consistent as jazz and classical.

I've never thought or characterized my system as sounding like live a event, instead it presents as artists performing in my room, far more intimate than any rock concert I've attended. With live jazz or pop vocalists recordings at smaller clubs my system presents as if I"m in the audience. If I only listened to these type recordings I'd be totally invested in believing my system sounds like live musical events. I don't like vast majority of live rock recordings, my system in no way presents illusion of myself in attendance at those concerts.