Funniest sales pitch


What is the funniest sales pitch you've read? My current favorite is one I just read today. It was,"I'm selling these speakers because they are too good for me."
makersmark
Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, "The doctor asked for a urine sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample - so I just handed him my underwear."
I am selling my multi-million dollar rig at a HUGE discount, due to a reversal of fortune, and impending legal fees.

Ken Lay
I'm selling my entire collection of 200 CD's because I can't figure out how to get that cellophane wrapper off any of them.
I'm selling my entire Vinyl collection, all pre 1980, scratched and warped but in otherwise excellent condition. Selling to get back into 8 track.