Why so many Flaky Buyers?

Great responses so far. I would add that there are no widely accepted rules on how to buy/sell on the internet -- it's not something that is taught as part of our culture or growing up -- it's so new. Over time, that will straighten itself out, and there will be more "rules of the road" or commonly accepted behavior. This pertains particularly to the time lapses of the net -- there have been plenty of times when I've asked questions as a buyer, gotten a response, made an offer and was then told that the piece had been sold. Should a buyer complete the transaction with an interested party "in dialog" before selling to a new party? Maybe. What are the right ethics here? Ditto for someone saying "I'm interested" and then buying it somewhere else before the dialog has been fully completed.

I'm with Lancer -- if a commitment has been made, the dialog should be over. But until there are clearer codes of conduct around how to handle the time lapses of dialogs, both buyers and sellers will sometimes suffer. My two cents. Thanks.

My last comment but kind of proves a point. I just received an email from a seller in NY who some will know to be something of a character, and he is. His being 83 tears old and a wealth of knowledge and a joy for me to talk to, I don't get real concerned about it. On this occasion he decided to ship.(Luxman PD 121 TT, That I think I have lost my buyer for, so if there is any interest?) was going to get back to me on shipping costs and such, fine. This was 4 weeks ago. Did not here from him and I assumed he sold it local, as he prefers to do, again no big deal. He made a post yesterday that I answered about 10b glass, and he writes today saying thank goodness I wrote, his computer crashed and he lost my address, do I still want the tt? And this is the kind of thing that happens all the time, lost emails(and they do get lost)put in wrong folder etc. As a seller, we have to sell to the 1st person that says, "I'll takes it." As a buyer, if you want it, get on the phone and do it, helps both parties out. 97% of us are not flakes, and if the non flakes talk to each other, get a feel for each other, you know if you have a firm deal or not. And on the more expensive stuff, and I do mostly selling, I want the buyer to call me, I wani him to know that I don't try to run LS3/5a's with a Phase Linear 700, nor would I. Scares all of us when you hear about something like that. I want them to know I don't and won't use the word mint, cuse unless its new, in my eyes it virtually can't be mint. And so on.
Its just like all relationships, and its one of the few things you gotta like about Oprah when she harps on it, its all about communication.
I'm done, THanks everyone

Jvia: as you point out, communications, or lack of, is the fulcrum that often determines whether or not the buyer or seller can leverage the sale. The communications factor is often as important as price, or more so. I find too many of us rely on email for convenience, when in fact, five back and forth emails usually take a lot longer than 1 phone call. Most of the itmes I have bought have been closed over the phone. This includes $100 cables to $4K amps and preamps. If you are a buyer or a seller, don't be afraid to include your phone number. It really helps. --Lorne

Until someone says sold all is fair. There are many times people do not flag their ads sold. There have been times i have been considering several different peices. The first thing i have to know is are they are sold. I dont try to lowball but when all thinge are equal i use price as the determing factor. I wish i were rich and price was not a factor. As it is i am far better at spending money than makeing it. Live long and prosper

This topic really hits the spot!!!I've bought & sold maybe 40 items of audio gear using the net & if I see something that I want RIGHT NOW I'll email or call the seller to make the deal. If I'm not sure about the item I might ask the seller if they're the original owner=why did they buy it in the first place?, why are they selling?=too bright, too much power, not enough power, etc., to get a better understanding whether or not this piece will fit what I'm looking for.
I'm currently fielding questions from several potential buyers & have no problem answering each & every question with as much detail as possible & simply would like the same from others. Yeah, there are a lot of window shoppers, computers go down, things happen, so if contact gets broken off I'm not too concerned. I do always take the offers in the order received & when I answer my emails I point this out in order to be fair. Even after an item sells (and it always does) I'll have emails weeks later for the item. I just email back it's been sold & maybe add it sure is a nice piece, hope you get one, etc.
Also, I might ask if it's OK to pick up the piece as I travel a lot (I've done 7 FTF's) & also to see what kind of a response I'll get. A few times (on ebay) I requested in person pick up if I won an auction & never did hear back from the seller. Does that say something about the condition of the item or what?
One last thing. In the course of making the deal if something doesn't feel right then take heed & do not complete the transaction. This has been brought up before but is worth repeating.
!