Why do I keep torturing myself with remasters?

I haven't heard one Beatles remaster worth spit. They're all wrong. I mean really, one needs to remaster the Beatles? They didn't know what they were doing? I always prefer the originals, first pressings if possible.

Are you talking about Parlophone first pressings or Capitol first pressings, because many Capitol Beatles first pressings *were* remasters, with hard left-right panning and added reverb. I have the EMI/Parlophone Beatles in Mono LP collection and they're quite a revelation over the Capitol "stereo" ones I grew up on. I better connect with the Beatles' artistry on the mono reissues.

To the OP: there are evidently a lot of crap reissues, and one thing that doesn't help is when they're digitally remastered.

However, some reissues you can pretty much take to the bank because they are meticulously all-analog. Examples include Analogue Productions, Speakers Corner, and ORG. They're worth the money. Every Analogue Production pressing I have is an absolute treasure.

Check some Fremer articles on Analog Planet that address this issue. He calls out labels that only do all-analog remaster/represses and some of the charlatans. 
http://www.analogplanet.com/content/reissue-labels-avoid-and-some-best-proceed-caution#gHK6bJ684z2Bo...

The best ones I'm getting these days are the 200g ones from Analogue Productions. All my Speakers Corner LPs are great too, including solo cello, large scale orchestra, Count Basie, Johnny Hartman and John Coltrane, and my ORGs are great too. 

Maybe I'm lucky or the higher number of reissues of pop and rock results in a larger number of bad ones.