There is no question that this struggle is frustrating but a couple of things you might want to consider:
1. At least you understand the struggle and the sought after solution -if there is one.
2.Given that the recording engineers that are involved in the recording process for the material you are listening to are also afflicted with which is best and that confusion likely manifests itself in the recordings you listen to--i.e. one is too subdued without enough detail and definition and the next is waaaaay too sharp/harsh but with a lot of detail.
I am going to suggest that no one system is enough to deal with these two issues since there is no consistency from one recording to another. What you are doing is very good for the economy if not good for your personal economy but I wonder if there is any one system/combination of components that is going to be pleasing from one recording to another.
3. I just bought a Van Morrison recoding and hands down it is the worst recording I have ever heard-there is no system that could fix this recoding. I have reached a point where I wonder if some recordings are presented with the thought in mind that a re-mastered and better version can be sold next year. Top flight performers and their recoding companies can afford the best engineers and likely already have the best equipment but yet some of the recordings offered are unlistenable.