For God's sake, I don't think that it is an illness. Your listening habits and preferences are guided by you instincts and your drive. Your "mono" whatever is taking you where you want to go. Follow the journey. Don't second guess it. I initially thought your post was kind of crazy. But, in hindsight, it's not crazy at all. It's your musical journey. Enjoy the ride and embrace!!
I am always in awe of your words and wisdom. Thanks for your such soul driven perceptions. One comment I wanted to totally agree with you on: "but some emotions conveyed in some music by some musicians, and I look for ecstasy because ecstasy lasts, fun do not last"
In the early 70's, BIRDS OF FIRE, the title cut from John McLaughlin's Mahavishnu Orchestra changed my life. It was the birth of early jazz fusion that hit my soul and heart like a drug. It was something that drew me out of body. I was around 14 years old then. I am 65 now, and when I hear that song I still feel the power, the spirit and the ecstasy that I felt so many years ago. Such a permeation into to the fabric of my life that will only die when I do.