Peter Lederman in Second Bout With COVID-19

I have just enough energy to post. What hppaned tome is thsat I was infected  a second time with Covid, and not realizing it, went for my second Pfizer shot. 4 hours later, felt like I was hit by a truck.  Went 4 days at home, got a PCR test (positive) and next morning called an ambulance. My D-DImer blood test was 6000 instead of .5. Cat scan showed many large clots, and a "saddle PE" that was so large that the doc told me if I had waited, or if had been a bit larger, I would have died. It passed through my heart and hung up on the saddle feeding both lungs. Transferred to cardiac center at Westcheter Medical Center, where they debated whether to operate. Had been on blood thinners too long - so no surgery to remove clot. 6 days in hell there. Then home on thinners to care for myself (I live alone).

I am the world's worst cook. I pray before, during and after I eat.  Got my dog back, but he is sick from being in the shelter. He is on antibiotics now and getting a bit better. Feel worse for him.

Quarantined for a total of 4 weeks. Can go out starting Tuesday for doc appointments - many complications. Hard to breathe, Slowly getting better, but lots of after effects. What I had was a huge immune response to a second  Covid infection, and the shot COMBINED. I am also immune compromised due to medication. Folks should consider a PCR test 4 days BEFORE second shot to be safe. Soundsmith is partially open with many employees who were ill with Covid now able to return.

Thank you for all the well wishes. This has NOT been fun, or without stress wondering if I will wake up each day, But each day the risk of the large clot moving is lower. They told me 4-6 months to resolve clots to "whatever level possible".  - peter Ledermann

Given Away

 

Spread your wings and slowly light

Upon the branch that holds my gaze

And stills the now and captures time

That overshadows all my days

 

Time’s so patient but regards us not

It waits for return of truth that holds

It feels more deeply than we can know

It fears not fall or winter’s snow

 

The world creates such a fearful din

But silence rules what we hold dear

It clears the air, it’s peace within

It’s closer than what we hold near

 

When stars seem fixed to hold in place

When evening deer come to borrow fields

When morning’s light contains more grace

Than my heart can grasp or my will can wield

 

In silent rains I hear your singing

When leaves hands move in visible breath

When snowdrops rise foretells of bringing

My heart is risen as life from death

 

So search each shell upon the sand

Listen close for the love of day

And return each jewel that seems at hand

None can be kept till it’s given away

 

(peter 4-6-21

We had one employee who unknowingly had Covid-19 and was mistreated by their doc. They spread it to almost the entire onsite employees, myself included. They had "sinus" and "jaw" pain. Watch out - This is one nasty virus with a plethora of symptoms.......   GET TESTED OFTEN if you feel anything unusual, to protect others. We were so careful at Soundsmith, but the last time I contracted Covid I went nowhere prior but home and work, sterilized EVERYTHING I touched, and carried alcohol spray  - I was so damn careful - even the mail & boxes received outside our door were sterilized using Ozone generators feeding into big sterilization boxes I built - NO ONE allowed to come to Soundsmith other than employees. I got it just going into and from our multi-use building - even with a mask and had sanitizers in every suite.  Highly contagious.

Peter Ledermann

Dear LEWM:

Yes, first Covid infection April of 2020, verified by PCR test. Dont know what "strain" I had. Cardiac surgeon who initially visited me after transfer to WMC said my history was "frightening and did not bode well for Covid". Yes, you would think they would want to research what happened. I would not be surprised if the 6 women who got J&J HAD covid when they got the shot. Maybe similar( ?) in what happened to me - What DOES happen when you have covid, have an immune response, and THEN get a (first or second, like me) vaccine at the same time? I would think (a lay persons thoughts) a huge step up in immune reaction, maybe one that throws clots.

FWIW;

For years, I take 4000 d3, NAC, Vit C, Co-Q10, occsional A, Magnesium Glycinate, B12, and multi Vit.  I am sure it "helps" but did not keep me from having a D-Dimer of 7800 (just saw my records.) I "somewhat" agree that getting the vaccine after having Covid is a risk for some, but HAVING covid a 2nd time unknowingly (as I did) WHILE getting the vaccine (following your comment)  is obviously far worse. I had mutiple PE's and the Saddle PE almost did me in.  I can now breath almost deeply without too much pain. Many other symptoms from Covid are still my daily companions.

On balance, to get rid of Covid (as best as we can) through vaccination makes sense. as this illness is no joke. Are there risks to vaccination? Sure. But in comparison to having no vaccine.....Take a look at India right now.....in daily deaths, THEN tell me its a bad idea to have vaccines.

God bless all of you who wished me well. Mala hierba nunca muere  - once said by a janitor who stopped mopping at the foot of my late brothers hospital bed while undergoing marrow destruction in prep for an autologous stem cell transfer due to a rare  Lymphoma...when my brother asked him what he mumbled, he said......"We have this expression in Spanish....."IT"S HARD TO KILL AN UGLY WEED".  My brother said he then wet the bed he was laughing so hard.

peter

I am extremely tired, and came to work today for 2 hours to deal with "emergencies" from being closed, and already looking for a large piece of bubble wrap to lie down on. We will see. No idea how much time it will take for clots and Covid residue to resolve.  The pile of work here for me is huge.

Exhaustingly yours - peter

Thank you for your inquiry about my poetry. I have been spontaneously "receiving" it since I was about 8 or 9. I have a carried a recorder for the past 40 years, and keep one next to my bed as sometimes they wake me up. I have done some recitals by request, as many of them get memorized automatically after being "received". 60+ years worth. It is a gift, as I have consciously done nothing to earn this ability and I don't ."write" them....I just write them down. Small recital for Peekskill Arts -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZbVdUbIWyI&t=1837s - this is one I did a few years ago.

Yes, some are getting published again through a small poetry group that was brought into my life by a very strange sequence of rapid events 10 years ago - Cleveland house poets - one of the oldest/longest continuously  running poetry groups in the US. A third anthology is being done and some of mine are in there. Some in the group have been pressing me to print a small number of books of my life's poetry. We will see if I get time to do that.

Thanks again for you inquiry and once again - for all the well wishes. This is a very slow recovery.   - Peter

Unheard, Unseen

 

It’s when silence stalks the frozen wood

when the quiet repose of spring’s fertile hush

consumed by the rhythm of neighborhood  

dreams breathing feel of summer’s blush

 

it’s when the forest speaks so loud

I can’t help but weep the promise heard

when the wedded sense of all endowed

silence sweeps me through its every word

 

how present in absence, how the vacuum’s abhorred

how everything remains so fascinating

drags us away from ourselves so bored

to steal us from earth slowly rotating

 

it’s the wrong sense, lost time quickly ticking

heard too loud till worth’s undone

held too tightly smartly unwitting

itself now blind to the midnight sun

 

So I pray I not grow deaf and old

That my heart will forever long to feel

That my eyes not deceived by some fool’s gold

That what’s invisible speaks truly what is so real

 

Filled with life ever abounding

(always reborn)

Unspoken truth

(death’s not a dream)

The heart apart remains forlorn

When it loses hold

(of the hand of the unseen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
~ peter ~ and a thank you to all who have sent me healing wishes.

To those doctors that have posted here. I have sent some clips to my Rheumatologist. This is a doctor who really CARES, and is a rare find. He has been helping me in researching and testing methods to treat my autoimmune disorder I have had for 30 years. God Bless him.

My posting this is not to continue this aspect of the thread, but to inform you of what someone who knows my medical history and someone who is brilliant medically has to say. I wish EVERYONE God bless - and stay safe. Covid is NOT going away.

Hi Peter-

 I guess I am taking these posts out of context because I am just seeing portions and missed the thread.

 But I do offer a few thoughts...

 First of all, it remains unclear exactly what happened to you. As I understand it, you were exposed to the coronavirus and were infected prior to the second vaccine. Then, unknowingly, did receive the second shot right around the time that symptoms would emerge, leading to a terrible reaction. Was the blood clot and PE a result of COVID19 re-infection or the vaccine? How can one tell?

 Both vaccinations and natural immunity ( following a previous infection, as in your case) help to reduce the risk of repeat infection, but cannot eliminate it .

 One explanation might be that getting the vaccine coincident with the true infection resulted in a massive immune activation that made you sick and contributed to the clots. Another might be that you had an exaggerated vaccine reaction that was responsible, rather than the infection itself (most people who have been reinfected with COVID have experienced a much milder course of illness than the first time). A third might simply be that the vaccine was not effective in your case , nor was natural immunity and you became reinfected and got quite sick and developed the blood clots, due to the infection. Blood clots, as you know have been associated with the J and J vaccine, not the one you received, but HAVE been seen frequently in  bad COVID infections.

 Those blood clots in many cases have been associated with the development of autoantibodies, induced by the virus, which impairs the clotting system.( We should check for those in your case, if not already done)

 And, you and I know, Peter, that your immune system is not exactly "normal". Long before all of this, we have been struggling with understanding what the nature of your autoimmune condition is and how to manage it.

 Perhaps your particular immune system is more susceptible to COVID infection, for some reason. Or maybe it renders you less responsive to vaccination thus leaving you vulnerable, so that either natural or vaccinated immunity is weak in your case. These are questions that we really cannot answer.

 As far as that other doctor's post about ADE ( antibody dependent enhancement) goes--there is so far, no evidence thatI am aware of that this exists in the case of COVD vaccination . It has only been seen in Dengue and remains mostly a theoretical phenomenon. Some virologists/immunologists/infectious disease experts expressed concern that this could happen with COVID vaccines, but so far, despite hundreds of millions of receiving various vaccine products throughout the world this has not been reported.

 And the notion that those with previous COVID infection should not receive the vaccine is, in my opinion , wrong. We know that natural immunity is of short duration and vaccination confers, in general, a better and longer protection.

I believe that it is true that individuals with prior infection histories tend to have  a stronger reaction to the first vaccination ( with COVID "virgins" tend to react-if at all-to the second shot) which is one reason, many experts recommend waiting 3 months after recovering from COVID before getting the vaccine.

( I recently saw a couple who both had severe COVID infections--he was hospitalized for nearly 3 months and almost died and she for a month and also had a pulmonary embolism) They went and got the vaccine about a month after recovering from that fiasco and both get real sick. He told me he felt as though he had COVID again--but it lasted a week and then they recovered fully)

 Some People are just generally against the vaccines and find others who share their opinion and then selectively support their position with "facts" and opinions that agree with their position.

 I feel terrible about what happened to you, but I think it is rare and I still believe that the vaccination programs are in the best interests of the society as a whole

 Respectfully,

DL

I got my bloodwork reports from the second hospital;  many aspects are way out of the "norm". 

I am hoping that the specialists I need to see can explain them to me.

Thank you again - one and all. Peter and Azul (the "wonder" dog")

Thank you for your medical response and perspective. To be clear; I had sniffles and mild cough on a Monday (infected by a co-worker who did NOT get a Covid test for jaw/sinus pain started the prior week) and they infected everyone @ Soundsmith. By Wednesday, symptoms were mostly gone, so I got the 2nd shot Thursday at 2PM. Withing 4 hours was racked with pain, fever and headache. Friday Am was unable to breathe well, (hurt upon any kind of deep breathing) and Saturday/Sunday same. Monday AM got rapid test (positive) and PCR. Tuesday am got PCR positive test result, and called ambulance at noon due to not breathing well and all other symptoms. There you have the beginning of the sage, and transferred after 12 hours to a larger medical center for possible surgery for saddle PE. I think folks should consider getting a PCR test 4 days before 2nd shot - to be "safer".

Peter (still here..... ) For every Covid insight, there are 10 new questions. - I am very moved by the good wishes of those on this forum. As I live alone, this was very deeply frightening at a number of levels both in the hospital and when I came home alone and quarantined to "try" to care for myself. .

I would like to close this post. The below is a poem that came to me years ago while driving. In the end, there is nothing but love that matters. Everything we have is on loan and can be taken back in a heartbeat. There is only one thing that cannot be taken away - and that is one’s good character that one has fought for. That would have to be given away. Thanks to you all again - and much appreciation for this blog.

The Parting

there is no place where leaves can fall

where the Earth will not love to embrace

as no color deep could hope to enthrall

my heart more than the gift of your grace

for the seasons not a time for change

but a change for time to draw a breath

and with its canvas rearrange

light from dark, life from death

as terraced gardens disappear

milkweed pods their children strayed

adrift on songs we’ve yet to hear

the invisible law to be obeyed

and with each part the parting goes

the autumn winds, the summer seeds

adrift beneath the winter snows

with noble dreams and daring deeds

So let time not into pieces go

where one without the other marks

a broken part of the heart we know

complete, and sails where love embarks

peter ledermann