I was looking for the same type of pre over the last 6 months. I had a chance to purchase a BAT VK50SE, an Aesthetix Calypso, an ARC LS25, an ARC REF1, and a BAT VK-5i. These were on my short list.
Then recently I purchased a Cary SLP 2002. This has most everything you are looking for: fully balanced design, single ended and xlr inputs/outputs, fully regulated power supply, remote, true HT bypass, but no invert switch. Therefore I'd recommend this or the Cary SLP 05 for the next evolution and step up. I am very happy with my choice.
Here are a few considerations....
My goal was to get something with a tube sound, something like a conrad johnson, not the neutral sound that many of the newer preamps are moving to (I find that 6h30 tube preamps are often noted for neutral sound). The Cary has been described as a great tubey preamp, like CJs. Many of the others listed in this thread are noted for their neutrality. Decide what you prefer for sound, if you prefer anything at all.
The BAT VK-5i is supposed to be a great tubey preamp. Most of their newer stuff is all designed more for neutrality. It was the #1 BAT on my list. I stayed away from neutrality. My system was very neutral and analytical to begin with. I wanted to balance things out a bit with a nice tubey preamp. For neutral one should also consider good SS pre's too, imo.
HT bypass was very important for me since I have a hybrid HT/2 channel system built to an audiophile level. And I found that many HT bypass preamps out there aren't optimal. The Cary has a true HT bypass, it completely bypasses the preamp, the preamp can be shut down and tube life saved. Many others out there (BAT, Aesthetix Calypso, etc.) only have unity gain, but the signal is still processed by the preamp coloring the sound and using up tube life. That will hurt the speakers timbre matching in the HT side of things. Be aware of this and find out exactly what type of HT bypass a preamp has. Decide what you want. That will narrow your choice.
Hope this helps.
kw........