@hiphiphan, I'm with you regarding your first paragraph.
That's what I experienced for the first time (coincidentally) just 3 weeks ago when listening to my surround speakers (Monitor Audio Studio 5):
- LS are standing in line with my head, slightly toed in, crossing path about 1.5 inches front my face
I was casually listening to music coming from these speakers. Very low crosstalk this way but no stage and depth. As it happens, I move the swivel chair about 5 degrees to the right and bam, out of nowhere (sic!) the sound was hanging right there approx. 4 feet in front of me, slightly above my head. Like a musical hologram. Moving to the left for 5 degrees and the hologram is gone.
Interesting: Listening to mono recordings, everything was in front of me. Listening in stereo, just a few instruments were in front of me. The other instruments were coming directly from the speakers to my ears.
Maybe the above might be a valid answer to OP's question no 1
While this sound experience does not reflect the reality as to where the musicians were standing during the record (like when listening to front speakers with depth and stage), it was nevertheless a kind of revelation to me.
I still have to work further on the front speakers to get the same result. However, I am not sure if this will ever happen.