There may be a scientific explanation to some of it! I have a male friend that has some type of "problem" with his ears, by his own admission. Loud sounds give him a crackly sound in his ears. Perhaps some kind of overload or something. He has repeatedly told me my system AND his start to crackle his ears after a certain volume.
Now, if this is a possibility, then add to it the fact that us males, especially audionut males, tend to crank up our system way beyond what "normal" people listen at, especially females. Add to that the extra crank of the volume knob that we subconciously turn when trying to impress someone. Add to that the amount of real energy in the high frequencies that our systems put out, compared to junk or even every day sound.
So, maybe you are just OVERLOADING her more virginal ears with too much SPL and dynamic range?