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My love of music is killing me.

I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
dean_fuller

Showing 1 response by bgeofft-duplicate-0

bgeofft-duplicate-0
174 posts
 
Your feelings make perfect sense to me. I have walked the cancer road with losses of sibling, spouse. Many hospitals, many procedures, hopes raised and dashed, emotional meltdowns on long distance phone calls to family members, hours and hours in waiting rooms flipping through old magazines, reams of medical insurance paperwork and calls, and bristling at those physicians seriously wanting in empathy. Time may be a healer but each of us processes loss differently and there is no timeline. Nothing new here, but affirming and sharing matter. Kind thoughts and a big ((hug)).

"No one gets through this life unscathed"
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