Music and its associations


Whenever I hear The Cars' "Just What I Needed" I'm immediately transported to those many hot summer afternoons, sitting in our backyard overlooking the American River, hanging with high school friends. We'd put the speakers on the balcony and turn it up, not realizing that we were in essence building a soundtrack to our lives. Ironically, they still associate that song with the same thing I do.

Last night, we attended a benefit dinner for a program that was co-founded by my father, who by profession is an OB/GYN. Around 1996, seeing that many drug-addicted women were losing custody of their children at birth, and receiving no services for their addictions, he and several others started a home for the mothers, with counseling services to help them stay free from drugs, as well as helping them to reunify with their children, get work, and eventually move into their own homes as a family. They have since served over 1000 women, and have been asked to help start similar programs with other hospitals around the country. As they played a slideshow that helped to demonstrate what it is they do, the Pachelbel Canon in D played along. I couldn't help think about hearing that song for the first time in 1980, as the theme to the film "Ordinary People". At the time, I identified with the sad state of the characters and the tragic family in the film. And yet, last night, I realized that the music suddenly carried a new meaning for me, one of revelation and spiritual growth. As my father spoke to 400 attendees as this year's honoree, I kept hearing that song, and trying unsuccessfully to link his childhood as a poor, lonely Jewish kid in Detroit to this successful, revered doctor who has found his calling in working with the Sisters of Mercy to help the underprivileged to clear away the noise of abuse so that they too could live a fulfilling life. I could not put it together in my mind, but I suppose that's exactly how this particular composition has come to represent something entirely different now than it did years ago, in my own childhood. And I guess that's why last night, I came to realize that the depth of a person's life--in this case, my father's--is a process of endless discovery, with unforseeable treasures that emerge along the way.

Thanks for letting me share that thought. I'm curious to hear what pieces of your life are accompanied by these unforgettable musical memories?
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Showing 1 response by jeromedny

Great thread.

Barry White and the Love Unlimited Orchestra playing "Love's Theme" - I am 5 years old, riding in the front seat of my dad's 1971 Caprice Classic through the streets of Dorchester, Massachusetts on a sunny day.

"Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer - driving around with my sister in a Mercury Tracer during the summer that I moved home to be with my dad after my mom had died. We called it "the happy song", always rolled the windows down, and were able to remember our mom with laughs and smiles instead of silence and tears for the first time in months.

Cheesy tunes, no doubt, but we don't always get to pick the soundtrack. The opening line in "Lover's Rock" by Sade goes "I am in the wilderness, you are in the music in the man's car next to me." That's the way it is - as often as we try to choose music to make the moment, it is just often the moment that makes the music.