When you say "The pins on the male DIN plug are of much smaller diameter than those on the cartridge." I don't know what exactly you're trying to do, but you shouldn't be bending the pins on your cartridge, yikes!!! And besides, there's no standard pin spacing for cartidges as far as I know (except for the P-mount ones that are made to plug into a P-mount tonearm.)
In addition, according to Jonathan Carr, the "DIN" plugs (both male and female) used on tonearms and tonearm cables are NOT really DIN at all but something the Japanese came up with some years ago and it bacame a standard AND everyone calls them DIN but they're NOT. So you need to talk to the manufacturer and explain all that to them. If what you need is a "real" DIN plug (and I'm not sure you do) they should be able to supply you with one.
In addition, according to Jonathan Carr, the "DIN" plugs (both male and female) used on tonearms and tonearm cables are NOT really DIN at all but something the Japanese came up with some years ago and it bacame a standard AND everyone calls them DIN but they're NOT. So you need to talk to the manufacturer and explain all that to them. If what you need is a "real" DIN plug (and I'm not sure you do) they should be able to supply you with one.