Hi Abruce,
I think this can be accomplished much more easily then most people think. Assuming you have a wireless network in your home, and want to control your iTunes library on your Mac Mini, or any other Mac computer for that matter, from your iPad, download the Apple "Remote" app onto your iPad. Launch iTunes on your Mac Mini (you'll obviously need it connected to a monitor for this step) and click on the iPad device in the left side bar. When you launch the REMOTE app on your iPad it will ask you for the 4 digit code that's on your screen. Just enter it and presto, your iPad now controls your iTunes library on your Mac Mini. It's really very easy. If you keep the Mac Mini / iTunes always running, you should not need an external monitor or the need for a VNC connection. Works just fine for me.
I think this can be accomplished much more easily then most people think. Assuming you have a wireless network in your home, and want to control your iTunes library on your Mac Mini, or any other Mac computer for that matter, from your iPad, download the Apple "Remote" app onto your iPad. Launch iTunes on your Mac Mini (you'll obviously need it connected to a monitor for this step) and click on the iPad device in the left side bar. When you launch the REMOTE app on your iPad it will ask you for the 4 digit code that's on your screen. Just enter it and presto, your iPad now controls your iTunes library on your Mac Mini. It's really very easy. If you keep the Mac Mini / iTunes always running, you should not need an external monitor or the need for a VNC connection. Works just fine for me.