Reminds of this from a couple years ago - somewhat off topic, somewhat not.
Man loitering outside of Aldi: Hey man, you got a cig?
Me: Nah man, I don’t smoke.
Man: You need help with them bags?
Me: Thanks but I’ve got them.
Man: Well, can I rob you for those shoes?
[Joint laughter as I walked off toward my car.]
True story.