Jokes of and about audiophiles

If you have more money invested in your system than in your 401K
If you have copies of "The Absolute Sound" displayed on your coffee table and "Sound & Vision" in your bathroom
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
If you are convinced you can hear differences between battery brands in your Walkman
If you can quote an entire paragraph from an equipment review
If you have outfitted your little portable CD player with beefy external powered speakers
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
If, when you go into a home electronics store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance, just to check out how it sounds in the system

I am shocked! Shocked! I can't believe there is levity here. I fall upon wet green ink, a CD smeared with it - if you will, perfectly rounded, but still sadly lacking in response.

This is the truth. My Grandfather was visiting and looking at my CD collection, of course he had to ask what they were. My answer of CD only ment one thing to him, Certificate of Deposite, I had to explain what they were. As he looked at how many there were he then asked how much each one cost. His reply was "..boy, for that much money you could of had a " CD " ".

How many double-blinders does it take to change a lightbulb?

None -- they can never achieve a 95% confidence level that the bulb is dead.

A friend of mine explaining to his wife why the amps have to stay on all the time, when the electric bill arrives the first time after he installs his Class A 200W mono blocks:

"Honey, I'm telling you, listening to my system is just like taking a shower... When you turn the shower on, cold water comes out, if you immediately step in, well, it is unpleasant. It needs time to warm up. Just because water comes out, does not mean it's a great shower. It'ls like that with my amplifier, of course music comes out right after you turn it on, but it is not great music. It takes time for it to warm up and sound right."

To which his wife replies with a straight face:

"Ahh... Got it. So we should run the shower 24 hours a day?"