Is elliptical the best stylus profile

Cleeds, I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Given the same stylus profile and tracking force the less compliant cartridge will wear the vinyl down faster than the more compliant cartridge. Tonearm friction means almost nothing as the stylus is at the end of a rather long lever. 
You are defining groove velocity incorrectly and also remember the RIAA curve. The groove velocity is the speed the stylus is traveling in the groove. It has nothing to no with frequency. It is the distance traveled per unit time. The heavier the modulation, the farther the stylus has to travel, the higher the groove velocity. Linear velocity is the speed the groove passes a fixed point it decreases as you travel towards the middle of the record. (20 inches per second down to 8 inches per second) Now, does the frequency effect tracking ability. I have no idea. The maximum groove velocity you can cut and probably only on the outer grooves is 50cm/sec. If you maintained that speed the stylus would surely start miss tracking somewhere on its way towards the center of the disc. Would a 100 Hz tone miss track before or after a 15 kHz tone. I do not think so as the velocity remains the same but I do not know for sure. Would be a fun experiment. Maybe there is a recording engineer out there who could tell us.
There are a number of cartridges I have never heard miss track. Maybe my hearing sucks and they are miss tracking but I have never heard it. You can masturbate about what is actually happening all you want but the simple fact remains that I have never heard it. Whether or not you trust my opinion is your problem not mine. If I were you I certainly wouldn't:)

Here is a nice little dissertation   http://www.pspatialaudio.com/max_velo.htm

The question is what is the highest groove velocity you would see on records and can the cartridge get through it without mistracking. I am not sure what that number would be but I can say that there are a number of cartridges I have never heard mistrack. I do have test records that will make any cartridge mistrack. So what. The heaviest test tracks get beat up so fast they are worthless within just few plays. 

cleeds it takes more force to move the stylus of a less compliant (stiffer) cartridge than a more compliant (softer) cartridge. That force is supplied by the turntable spinning through the vinyl of the record groove. In other words the vinyl has to transfer more force to the stylus of a less compliant cartridge than the stylus of a more compliant cartridge. More force means more wear. The approach to cartridge design has changed quite drastically since the 70s. We use to have crazy compliant cartridges like the V15, Pickerings, Stantons, Empires tracking at 3/4 gram with elliptical styluses in crazy light tonearms. Remember the Infinity arm? Now we have stiffer cartridges with line contact styli in larger arms tracking at 2 grams. The other big cause of record wear that I forgot to mention is mistracking. You can always tell when a record has been mistracked. The heavy passages get crackly for lack of a better term. The stylus starts jumping up and down in the groove digging in a little each time it lands. Sort of like the difference between walking on thin ice and jumping on it. 
A cartridge mistracking at 3/4 gram VTF will cause a lot more damage than a smooth tracker at 2 grams. 

I forgot. In terms of record wear there are other variables than stylus profile like compliance and tracking force. Styli with larger contact patches are a benefit given the same VTF. SRA and azimuth have an influence but not as much as you would think as long as they are within reason. I think they are more important for separation and high frequency performance. Today’s cartridges are significantly superior to the ones we had in the 60s and 70s particularly when it comes to build quality. It is hard to find one that is objectionable. We really are talking about nuances. 

I think rauliruegas has the best handle on this subject. Any cartridge is going to sound better when it is set up properly. Tracking is paramount. The overall sound quality is determined by the design of the cartridge and the manufacturer’s attention to detail. Very tiny detail. 
Setting up a turntable is not rocket science. Some of us do not want to be bothered so hopefully they have a tech who can do it for them. But I think nobody does it better with more loving care than yourself.