How to respond to those who say it's not a hobby?

It's your hobby, you needn't defend it to anyone. Short form answer to anyone who says otherwise: "F you and everyone who looks like you" ;)

I think there could be some semblance of a hobby in the adroit assembly of components for the reproduction of sounds, but much of this activity is often just luxury consumerism.

The most compelling part of this activity or hobby, to me, is the music itself. The gear is just a means to the end of getting closer to the music. So the audiophiles that I respect are very involved with music first and last. If they are not musicians, then they are at least uncommonly knowledgeable about the music, musicians, and cultures of the genres that they enjoy. They spend more of their time, if not their money, in deepening and expanding their musical knowledge and experiences.

Over the years, due to a limited budget and other priorities, I haven't frequently upgraded my audio system. But, when I have, it's been easy to justify to my wife because of my lifelong involvement with and enthusiasm for music. The last set of upgrades significantly increased her emotional involvement with the music as well.

To me this is not a hobby, it's what I do for a living. I am an audio engineer. I usually try to include my better half by talking it over with her,and seeing what she has too say when I want to upgrade. Then I do what I want. We have a system, that sense we both work, I don't tell her how to spend her money and she dosn't tell me how to spend mine. As long as the bills are paid. I think it works to include her in the process. It seems to work very nice that way!!!

Some good advice above. I especially liked Matt8268's recommendations-- and Rosstaman's humor;>)

My wife and I are not rich by any means, but we have separate checking accounts and this has undoubtedly prevented many wicked marital battles. Audio as a "hobby" doesn't have to justified as others have also suggested.

Unfortunately you may be SOL unless you can solve the money issue. I HIGHLY recommend separate checking accounts if the two of you can find a way to do it. Best of Luck. Craig

My apologies to anyone or everyone who was offended by my previous post. It has been pointed out to me in private that I acted in "poor taste". I meant it tongue-in-cheek and really meant no harm, nor I did I intend it to seem as crude as it seems to appear.