How loud do you like to play your music?

A lot depends on the recording quality but I generally listen like you around 90 db average most of the time, however, I will crank it from time to time to around 95 - 100 db SPL.

Without you defining a reference track it is hard to say.

Examples of what can be cranked:
Sheffield Labs Drum Track CD (sounds like a real drum set largely because it probably isn't compressed like most all drums that you hear on music that you pruchase)
Dave Grusin Hommage to Duke
Maceo Parker most of his stuff
Tom Petty most of his stuff
Grace Jones Hot Blooded Mix Slave to The Rhythm
George Benson Weekend in LA Live
Mahler and a lot of classical stuff

Examples of what cannot be cranked (too much distortion already on the hyper compressed CD):
Green Day
Arctic Monkeys
Fratellis
Metallica
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
and many many others...

FWIW: A good undistorted clean track with a large level of dynamics can be played MUCH MUCH louder often because the AVERAGE level is low even if the odd peaks hit 105 to 110 db SPL

With rock and roll the bands seem to play it at one level only which is very loud and purposefully distorted.

Yeah - it is all noise today...no Stairway to Heaven or Bohemian Rhapsody anymore...since Oasis and U2 proved that hyper-compression sells there has been little else but constant monotonous noise for the last decade.

With the monitor/sub system I now have, I stay in the mid 80's to low 90's (continuous) range, which is also determined by the quality of the recording. This system simply lacks the impact the bigger system had & is not as much fun to listen to at higher SPL's.

This is the OTHER big factor in how loud one can go and enjoy it. It is NOT just the need to find a good clean dynamic recording that lacks distortion and compression...but ALSO the need to have a system that can play that loud effortlessly (i.e. with no more distortion than you get at 80 db).

For example the hardest to reproduce are drums: a drum set playing at around 90 db average SPL is likely to have accented peaks of around 100 db SPL, ghost notes at as little as 70 db, perhaps a squeaky foot pedal or the tail end of a crash at an even lower 30 or 40 db SPL, and on the flip side the max crescendos at the finale/end of a section/big rock fill should be around 110 to 115 db SPL. When you calculate this requirement at the typical 8 to 10 feet back listening position then you *ideally* need a speaker that can play at 120 db SPL comfortably and cleanly and without compression in order to get that relaxed "live" dynamic sound effect. It is a tall order and not many speakers can do that - so most music that you purchase has been heavily compressed - especially drums.

with a pr of zu's so how loud depends on the amount of power i can get out wall outlet w/ a 20 amp breaker so far 141 db

Is that what they call a "Brown note"? (So loud that you S&*t yourself?)

When I played the Focal’s at the same mark, the sound was “uncomfortable”.

As Ralph pointed out - distortion and particularly of higher harmonics is usually what makes the sound uncomfortably loud or just plain "uncomfortable" in small stereo systems.

Distortion can come on the source (a compressed Green Day or Red Hot Chilli Peppers CD), from your amplifier or from your speakers. Small speakers are most often the consistent culprit if you are using decent CD's. There is an article on Siegfried Linkwitz website about common midrange distortion and how it rises dramatically at higher SPL's.

It is surprising how loud music from real instruments can be without sounding uncomfortable but, for sure, consistent average energy above 100 db SPL is going to qucikly become uncomfortable. You can even cause IMD distortion in your ears at these high levels with midrange frequencies...although ultra LF bass frequencies do not become loud until you reach 100 db SPL...

Confusing...yes it can be.

FWIW - the Ushers show signs of compression at a mere 90 db SPL - so you can forget about clean 110 peaks that Ralph mentioned.

And the as for the Focals, well ouch the distortion from what might be the tweeter resonance is scary. I have always considered that tweeter to sound splashy or in your face - and perhaps that plot says it all...who knows.

I must add that the othee plots of BOTH the focals and Ushers are HIGHLY impressive - so I am not saying either one is not an awesome speaker - they both are!! However, I would not expect to be able to drive them hard playing a big jazz band or rock in a large room (as they aren't designed for this....horses for courses - don't get a bookshelf or a small monitor if you want realistic loud)