Help my speakers are farting,,,,

The year is barely over two months old, and Audiogon already has its Thread Of The Year!

Great suggestions!

Light a match in front of your speaker. If the resulting flame front exceeds a foot in length, it's time to investigate your upstream components. RFI [Rancid Fart Interference] may be at the root of it.

Slappy, you must eat a very natural diet, if just a loud car is enough to mask your intestinal emissions. Mustangs smel...er, sound goooood!

In general, unlike us guys women have amazing bodily control when their significant others are present. It's funny when they get too relaxed and "forget" we're there and crank one out hillbilly style. "That came out out of you baby?"

Without getting too personal, how critical is port diameter and depth when tuning for the most melodic farts? Should one consider the Qms, Qts or Vas of said fart?

My God, it works!

Who do they do that?!