Help me solve static electricity problem

Anyone with knowledge of Capacitors? What would happen if the chassis of each component were connected in starfish pattern through capacitors to one central ground point and then on through another capacitor to a common ground? Would the capacitors act to absorb the static discharge and then slowly release them to ground? I'm not 100% sure how caps work but they seem to behave like water hammer arrestors sometimes.

Thanks for the response. I'm not really sure how a capacitor might work in this situation is why I asked.
I was wondering if there was a way to "grab" the static discharge absorbed by chassis and pass it to electrical ground before it got into the signal causing a loud pop without potentially creating a ground loop between any components.
This was a "Hail Mary" idea of mine for Vhiner's problem. I imagined at least one of his components was highly susceptible to this problem because I have taken some real painful shocks in the past and never heard anything through my speakers, much less engaged protection circuitry. My approach was to search for a simpler, more user friendly way to manage this problem other than remembering to discharge oneself before touching anything. I was also looking for a solution that would work whenever an unfamiliar guest reached for the volume control. Believe it or not, I briefly considered metallic doors that would force the user to discharge themselves to ground before touching any equipment. As sure as I am that would work, even I wouldn't do it myself.
Other than wearing rubber soled shoes, a grounding strap, remembering to discharge oneself to ground, or treating oneself, carpeting and furniture to reduce static buildup, is there any component, device or circuit that could replace the "capacitor idea" in my previous design to absorb and pass the discharge to ground without creating a ground loop or other ill effect?
Why are some components less susceptible than others, and can that be applied here?