Hey Bob, thanks for reviving an old thread. Actually, the answer is......respect.
My wife and a bunch of friends formed a 'girl's group' some time ago. I strongly encouraged her to meet with them at least once a month for dinner. A while ago she brought home an interesting story. Of the six women, two of them had taken their husband's last name at marriage. Each of the other five retained her 'maiden'name. My wife took my name.
The point is that the other five were complaining that with the mutual check book, the husband was always being difficult when it came to each of the wife's use of money. Understand that all of these women are rather highly paid professionals. anyway, the two women who had taken their husband's names each have their own checkbooks. In my marriage each of us has a half-obligation to pay the household costs and whatever money is left is each of our own business. What i have left-over is mine and what she has is hers. The point is that the women who retained their own names, etc., have no control and the two women who took the husband's name have all of the independance: the five chose independance in name but lost it in fact. I don't look at my wife's bank statements and hers are not my business.
If I have the money I buy what I want. The same goes for her.
It is called respect, which comes from responsibility and independance.
My wife and a bunch of friends formed a 'girl's group' some time ago. I strongly encouraged her to meet with them at least once a month for dinner. A while ago she brought home an interesting story. Of the six women, two of them had taken their husband's last name at marriage. Each of the other five retained her 'maiden'name. My wife took my name.
The point is that the other five were complaining that with the mutual check book, the husband was always being difficult when it came to each of the wife's use of money. Understand that all of these women are rather highly paid professionals. anyway, the two women who had taken their husband's names each have their own checkbooks. In my marriage each of us has a half-obligation to pay the household costs and whatever money is left is each of our own business. What i have left-over is mine and what she has is hers. The point is that the women who retained their own names, etc., have no control and the two women who took the husband's name have all of the independance: the five chose independance in name but lost it in fact. I don't look at my wife's bank statements and hers are not my business.
If I have the money I buy what I want. The same goes for her.
It is called respect, which comes from responsibility and independance.